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Welcome aboard space cadet!

Christmas special offer

In the good name of all things Christmassy, Berkus' first book is now at an awesome gift worthy price. So if you are looking for the perfect present for the younger person in your life, click below.

Click to order the special edition print

So who is this
Berkus fellow anyway?

Let's take a moment to get to know our little alien friend.

What makes Berkus quite so Berkusy?

Careful studying of Berkus’s brainbox has revealed the reason for his twin food and coat hanger fascination*

SCAN SUBJECT:

Berkus the alien

Age: A little older than when I wrote this nonsense.

Obsessions: [a-c]: Aardvarks, accordionists, avocados, ballpoint pens, belly buttons, bubblegum, bulbs (light and tulip), Cádiz, can openers, castles (bouncy), coathangers, cookies, corgis, the Cotswolds, crabs, crabs eating croissants, croissants.

Obsessions: [d-j]: Daises, dinosaurs, dipsticks, emu eggs, English toast, French toast (any toast), famous people’s bin bags, gravity, hammocks, hedgehogs, haircuts on kittens, hats on weird shaped heads, hippopotamus ears, igloos, jaunty scarves.

Obsessions: [k-n]: Kaleidoscopes, ketchup, koala bears with knobbly knees, lasagne without knees, lollipops, long walks on the beach, the month of March, monkey mullets, most of mathematics (just not long division), napkins, Neptune-fries, new years parties in New York.

Obsessions: [o-s]: Octopus elbows, orange sunrises, paella on toast, pinky fingers, pinky toes, quiche, round pegs in square holes, Roman shed architecture, riding ronglewisps in the rain, Saturn-burgers, sponge fingers, sponge (Victoria), sponsored spoon bending.

Obsessions: [t-z]: Tramlines, trampolines, trembling jellies, umbrellas, upper molars, vacuum flasks, winks, winkles, wrinkles, xylophones (not really, but it's a 'x' word), yaucths, yawts, yotts, boats, zigging (but never zagging), zzzzzzzzzzz.

Furthest thrown blancmange: 1.2m (wind assisted)

Favourite colour: Clear.

Favourite place: 1 step in front of the open fridge.

* No alien was hurt in the production of this page

Click to see what the 'magic' is

Did someone mention a book? They blooming well should have because...

Berkus is in‍

ONE

Not enough spoons for me. Infact the general lack of table wear is disappointing!

Terry Bumstead - Cutlery news

Easily the best book about a panicing space alien with a gurgling tummy and a rubber chicken for a companion that I have written.^*

Space Cadet Will Belfield

Far more creative, witty and exciting than any of these made up reviews.

Berkus T' Alien

None of those nasty e-number thingys, 100 percent fat free and nothing added apart from a cracking celery joke.

Maria M Martian at The Galaxies Greatest Grub Guide

* This week at least.

The book launch

Did you make it? Were you there?
I know Berkus had you on the invitation list, but was struggling for stamps.

For the few of you unable to make the glittering book launch it was attended by the galaxy's great, good, not so good, tall, short, solid, gaseous, liquid, real and imaginary.

Also there was that pop star who most people think sounds like a wimberling snozzel, but I like. Prince and Princess thingy showed up with their child, wosit and Grand Emperor Phopop III bought three of his finest heads. Each had a wonderful evening and left with a copy of the best selling Berkus book of all time...

So how do I get my hands, paws, claws or tentacles on a copy?

No matter which galaxy you call home, Berkus is only a few clicks away.

After balancing 17 Saturn burgers one on top of the other and appearing on the cover of 'Food Stacking Monthly' magazine, Berkus was convinced he'd reached the full height of his fame. That was until news of his adventures reached biographer/illustrator and professional daydreamer Will belfield. Excited to put the little alien's story in print and with almost a week's worth of almost hard work, we are proud to release the Berkus the alien story.

The beautifully finished hard and paperback books are full of gorgeous illustrations, jokes for all ages and a story made to be shared.

The special edition books